Tantra: This is how the erotic massage works

Have you ever had an orgasm that really got under your skin? We mean a sexual climax that has, quite literally, flashed your senses. Such intoxicating climaxes are not uncommon in tantric massage. That's why many people who have had this form of sexual experience crave the erotic adventure again and again. But where does the explosive experience of Tantra come from? How is the state of ecstasy achieved and what does it feel like? We reveal what you should know about the tantric massage.

What actually is a tantric massage?

What you probably already know: Tantric massage is not about loosening your muscles. However, the most erotic of all massages can certainly loosen tensions – those of a sexual or spiritual nature. "The body is celebrated," explains Pamela Behnke, director of the Zinnober School for Body Therapy and Tantra Massage in Zurich. "Tantric massage is for all people who want to experience their own sensuality with dignity and respect," she says. The roles are clearly distributed: There is a giver and taker. The recipient of the massage does not touch the giver – in your case the masseuse – but surrenders completely to his own sensations.

And yes, it is true: During the tantric massage the sexual organs are not left out either. Tantra masseurs refer to the female sex organ as Yoni, the penis as Lingam. So, when you experience a classical massage ritual, your penis is also included in the tantric worship ritual. "According to the textbook, there are 36 holds for genital massage alone," Behnke explains. This special form of massage has nothing to do with prostitution or erotic services. That's why the recipient can not determine the course of the massage. "Sexual desires are not negotiable," says Behnke. "The recipient can only express where and how they don't want to be touched," she explains.

What is the aim of the tantric massage?

During erotic massage, it often happens that the person being massaged is surprised by the new experience. Some people report that they have never been touched so attentively before. "In tantric massage, the body has the freedom to feel what it wants," says Behnke, emphasizing that reactions to touch are very individual. Although the penis (lingam) is also massaged, orgasm is not mandatory. Performance pressure or shame do not play a role.

"We don't cut off the climax, but we don't provoke it either," explains the sex therapist. "The goal is to create a sense of well-being in your own body. At its best, it also creates access to the sweet orgasmic state, which is experienced completely physically," she explains. If orgasm occurs, it is often felt like a rush. "All cells are invigorated, full of energy. You are totally awake and relaxed," says Behnke.

How does a tantric massage work?

On the couch, ready, go! The ancient Indian massage technique is not like a competition. On the contrary: "When you book a professional massage, there is first a detailed preliminary talk," says Behnke. It is clarified, for which reasons the receiver comes. "This can be out of curiosity of due to physical and sexual discomfort," says Behnke. After the preliminary talk and a shower, the recipient gets the chance to arrive. This means he can come to rest and build trust with the masseur. "All senses are addressed. Only when these are activated are you fully engaged," says Behnke. "It is the same with food or in other areas. Only when I engage with all my senses in something, am I completely there," explains the instructor. During the massage, a feel-good atmosphere is therefore built up extremely slowly. Then warm oil is used for the massage.

"The massage reaches from the tips of the hair to the tips of the toes. Every zone is included. Unless the recipient says beforehand where he does not want to be touched," explains Behnke. The massage usually lasts at least 1.5 hours. It takes time for arousal to develop. "Until the yoni opens in a woman, it takes at least 45 minutes on average. So a 1.5-hour massage is short in total," she explains. The longer the massage, the deeper the relaxation. Because the genitals are also touched extensively during the massage of the Yoni or the Lingam, it can come to the ejaculation of the man. Massage of the anal area and prostate can also be part of the treatment, if the client feels ready for it. After the massage ritual, the recipient can rest covered and feel the massage, then get rid of the oil or take another shower. The Tantra ritual is concluded in a follow-up conversation.

How does ecstasy feel?

Imagine being able to let yourself go completely. Every part of your body is pampered. You feel the desire inside you slowly rising in waves. Your mind cannot be distracted by anything. You don't waste a thought on everyday worries, pressure to perform or the expectations of others. You let go completely, surrender totally to the touch and your sensations. You feel how the desire builds up. It increases to the point that it tingles electrically all over the body. Then it discharges in an explosive orgasm that shakes you from head to toe. This whole-body sensation of pleasure is called ecstasy in Tantra. It feels different for each person. It is in accordance with the philosophy of Tantra that the state of highest energy is strived for. The feeling of happiness may be taken into everyday life.

Can Tantra improve sex?

Yes. After a Tantra massage many things change. Everyone has ingrained patterns when it comes to their own sexuality. The masturbation runs for years after the same pattern and in the relationship sex varies at some point less and less – routine creeps in. During the Tantra ritual the receiver gets new insights into his arousal. When couples perform the ritual together, you train yourself to engage intensely with your partner. You go on a sexual research trip together, feel what pleases the partner. An ecstatic orgasm also increases the assessment of the quality of sex in the partnership – and that in turn fuels the anticipation of the next time.

Does Tantra strengthen the relationship?

Even outside the bed, the erotic relaxation method can improve the partnership. "It starts with being willing to make time for each other," says Pamela Behnke. The trust relationship is strengthened as partners completely trust and open up to each other during the massage. "Relationship dynamics that play a role in everyday life move into the background," Behnke explains. Trying something new and gaining experience together brings new momentum to the relationship. "It's like a honeymoon in everyday life," says Behnke.

Through the tantric massage to more self-confidence

Those who get to know themselves better can also express desires well. "The sensual experience of tantric massage acts like an island in everyday life. You can draw strength from it. You go into everyday life in a completely different way when you feel sexy," explains Behnke. Understanding about the reactions of the body also leads to a more intense relationship with the self. This self-image is evident in a more upright and posture and a more confident demeanor.

Is Tantra also good for your health?

"More and more therapists are sending clients to tantra masseurs," explains Pamela Behnke. "While the massage does not explicitly have a healing intention, the positive experience can have a healing effect," explains the sex therapist. All Tantra experts agree on one thing: Tantra brings new energy into your life.

How to find a good tantra masseuse?

You can't book a tantric massage in a gym or an ordinary wellness temple. But where to find a suitable masseuse or a good masseur? On the Internet you can find numerous offers for tantric massages. A reputable provider does not present itself erotically on its website. If very short massages are offered, this is also usually a sign of unserious work. About the Tantra Massage Association find a masseuse near you.

How to learn the technique of tantric massage by yourself?

Courses teaching the technique of can also be found through the professional association. "There are also couples who don't want to sit in a room with 20 other couples. Then there is the possibility to do a mini-course", says Behnke. Books and DVDs on the subject are also available in stores. "The disadvantage of it is that one often imitates it pragmatically and too technically", so the sex therapist. "In a Tantra course you are more willing to go in slowly and with feeling. After such a seminar, the penny has dropped in any case," she says. But even those who try it at home with instructional videos and guidebooks can only win. The confrontation with one's own desire leads to more fun during sex.

Conclusion: Tantra can improve sex, relationship and self-confidence

During a tantra massage you can completely let yourself go. Her body is literally celebrated by the massager, every part is pampered. The goal: an orgasmic state that is fully experienced physically. This has nothing to do with an erotic service. The recipient can not determine the course of the massage, but beforehand where he does not want to be touched. Although the penis (lingam) is also massaged, an orgasm is not mandatory. The massage usually lasts at least 1.5 hours and can improve sex, relationship and self-esteem. Good reasons to try Tantra at least once. 

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