This is what your sex dreams mean

They are wet dreams that should never end please. Because who does not like to have sex in their sleep? But there is also the kind of erotic dreams that can quite confuse a man. For example, if in a dream you end up in bed with a person you don't really like, or your best friend, or even your boss – what does that mean?

We talked with sex and psychotherapist Diana Schiftan spoken from Zurich. She explains what's behind common sex dreams and gives valuable tips on how you can experience erotic dreams more often.

Are sex dreams normal?

"Yes," says sex therapist Diana Schiftan. "But we often have the urge to want to interpret these dreams. In the sense of: Am I normal or am I missing something?" she says. Instead, she says, you should look at hot dreams from a different angle: "Fantasies are something great. It is ingenious that our mind can be so inspired. One may first take dreams and fantasies for what they are, namely merely as dreams". How to finally live out your sex fantasy.

I dream about sex with other women: Am I dissatisfied in my partnership?

The expert gives the all-clear: "Sex dreams with other people primarily mean that you have more opportunities to be aroused than by your current partner. Few men dream about their partner, with whom they can eventually have sex in reality. We all have more attraction codes than are combined in one person. It would be a shame if we were only aroused by our current partner," says Schiftan. Sex dreams with other women do not necessarily mean that you are dissatisfied with sex with your partner. 

The 9 most common sex dreams of men

I'm sure you agree: If you dream about sex, it's basically good. Because it means that you have a good ability to get aroused. What the 9 most common scenarios in sex dream can mean:

Sex dream #1: Sex with a stranger

You make love with a beautiful stranger on the beach or in the cinema: "In sex dreams, you never know what comes first at night: the arousal or the image of an erotic scene. When the arousal comes first, the mind creates an image to go with it. Usually this ideal image is composed of certain attributes that you find attractive," says Schiftan.

Some men fantasize women with faces, others have sex with a stranger without a face. "Then the mind focuses on certain attributes, such as big breasts or a particular butt shape," Schiftan explains. "The appeal is in just plucking a stranger off the street and not knowing if it's a good idea."Unlike in reality, however, you won't suffer any nasty consequences in your dream – it doesn't get any better than that!

Sex dream #2: sex with ex-girlfriend

You haven't thought about your ex for a long time and suddenly she shows up in a sex dream – what's that about then? "That's good," explains the sex therapist. "After all, for some reason, you used to be with the partner and hopefully had good sexual experiences with her as well. Why can't you just remember," asks Schiftan. That doesn't mean you're pining back for the ex-girlfriend: "It's an 'ex' for a reason, after all. But it also means that you don't always have to badmouth everything that happened to your ex-partner."

Sex dream #3: Sex with the superior

What if you suddenly dream of a hot night with a no-go woman, such as your boss? "In fantasy, there are no no-go's," says Schiftan. "The boss is hierarchically superior to you, is a person of respect – here the attraction is in the forbidden and the idea of: What would happen if I really did it?" the therapist explains. "Some men also feel strengthened in his ego, because the boss has chosen just him for a Schäferstündchen – even if it is only in thought," says the expert.

Sex dream #4: Sex with the best friend

Oh dear, you suddenly dream of an erotic adventure with a close friend – is there more than friendship between you? "At first, it's a compliment to the girlfriend," Schiftan says. "In addition, sex doesn't always have to do with love," the sex therapist explains, "Just because someone shows up in my sex dream doesn't mean I want to have a relationship with that person."

Sex dream #5: Sex with the enemy

"I can also find a person highly attractive the other way around, but not even likeable," Schiftan said. "Sometimes, however, people wake up completely disturbed after such a dream. They think, 'Oh God, what's wrong with me?'". The explanation is simple: "Arousal and excitement are often very close to each other. A person we hate generates a lot of excitement in the body."

Sex dream #6: Sex with another man

You are heterosexual, but suddenly dream about sex with a man? Don't worry, you don't have to change your sexual orientation overnight. Sex therapist Schiftan explains: "Such a dream is completely unproblematic. Homosexual dreams can mean that a man is coming to terms with his masculinity. Among women, cuddling and touching is socially accepted in reality, but when men do it, it's still wicked. Why actually? If you like your own penis, why not find another penis arousing?"

Sex dream #7: violent sex

You are actually into flowery sex, but in your wet dreams you often go hardcore. "There are men who are unsettled by the. But there are also those who can separate between fantasy and reality."It depends on the inner security, explains the expert. You can take the dreams as dreams that you know you will never realize. But you can also let it make you insecure.

"Crass fantasies heat up because we reject them," explains Schiftan. Means: The more you resolve to stop dreaming about one thing, the more often you dream about her. "You should try to look at your dreams in a more distant way. If they're a little weird, that's okay, too," says Schiftan.

Sex dream #8: You're watching your partner with someone else

"Normally, such a dream shows the inner insecurity. Someone is worried that the partner could really cheat."But there are also men who find such a fantasy pleasurable. "But that doesn't necessarily mean he wants her to cheat," Schiftan explains. Infidelity: confess or keep silent?

Do I have to tell my partner about my sex dreams?

"It depends a lot on the partnership. I have the right to keep my sexual fantasies to myself," explains Schiftan. "In some partnerships, however, there is the belief that they must tell the partner everything," says the. "Man can tell each other if it helps to excite each other. If it's a game with each other," expert. But be sure to get your partner's permission so that you don't hurt her.

Should I try to make my sex dreams come true?

"Be careful!" warns Schiftan. "Anything that is legally correct is of course allowed," she says. "But often erotic dreams are very appealing in fantasy, but in reality not so great at all. If you want to make it happen, be prepared to be disappointed," says Schiftan. "For example, many men have the dream of a threesome. But already when planning the implementation, they realize that it doesn't feel as good as in the fantasy," says the expert. A lot of things should just be allowed to stay in your head.

How can I have more sex dreams?

There's a way you'll experience sex dreams more often. To do this, you must stimulate your mind to sexual creativity: "Allow yourself to have arousing daydreams. Imagine sex with strangers in exciting places. Fantasize twice as often as you watch porn. That's because it doesn't stimulate your mind the way a fantasy does, which helps your imagination," says Schiftan. These are the 5 biggest porn lies.

Conclusion: Enjoy your dreams!

Even though there is a possible meaning behind every dream, they are always just attempts at interpretation. Take dreams only as an erotic possibility to excite your mind and just enjoy it, instead of always looking for a possible explanation for a dream. Means: be happy if your mind often gives you erotic fantasies in your sleep and don't worry about a possible meaning.

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